The Act of Not Settling

25 Feb

So, since I have decided not to settle for just anyone, I figured that I should make it official and write down just what I won’t be settling for less than. Here you go, applications can be sent through comments, no reasonable applicant will be denied a chance.

There is no particular order to this list.

1. He must be smart, preferably as smart or smarter than me. However, he can’t be arrogant about it, unless we are being arrogant together in mocking others for poor fashion or bad hair. There is nothing worse than being patronized.

2. He must wear good shoes. Please, no high top sneakers or All Converse, All the Time guys. Good shoes are very important.

3. There will be no mention of Nascar, EVER. Sports fans in general need not apply.

4. There will be no quoting movies while we are watching them. If you have seen the movie already, keep it to yourself.

5. He must be able to eat things other than the typical meat and potatoes diet, and he will not put a condiment on EVERYTHING I make. It is not acceptable to offend the chef by slathering your dinner in ranch dressing or barbecue sauce before even tasting it. Even then, ranch dressing eaters will be seriously thought twice about.

6. He will be able to tell me who the Secretary of State is, maybe even to the State level.

7. He will read, and not only magazines and blogs.

8. He will want to travel with me and not tell me I packed too many shoes. He will offer to carry my luggage for me, even though I may have packed too many shoes.

9. My vintage dresses will not be mocked, nor will my shoes, coats, or handbags. I like them, it makes me feel good to dress up. I will continue to do so, and applicants must be secure enough to walk proudly next to me.

10. Beards or goatees are strongly discouraged.

11. He must have good fashion sense. No stonewashed jeans or sweatshirts in public.

12. Good shoes. Good shoes. Good shoes. (did I mention this before? It’s really important)

13. He drinks his coffee black. I don’t trust men who put too much cream and sugar in their coffee, unless they are Cuban. I will let this one slide for a Cuban, because Cubans know coffee.

14. He must not tell me I drink too much. If I want to have wine with dinner or a glass before, I will. If I want to spend my money on scotch and obscure liqueurs with names I can’t pronounce, I will. I, in turn, will promise to not become an alcoholic who cries for no reason.

15. He should be able to talk about all kinds of music, from Sugar to Chet Baker to Wagner’s Ring Trilogy. He will also be into going to see live music of any type.

16. TV addicts also need not apply. He must be fine with me listening to public radio all day Saturday. He must know a bit about public radio also, or at least have a few favorite podcasts.

17. He will open doors for me. He will unlock my door when getting in the car first or make sure I don’t have to jump a snowbank to get in. He will ask me if it is too windy with his window down and never roll mine down without checking with me first.

18. He doesn’t smoke, tobacco or otherwise.

19. He doesn’t chew tobacco.

20. He doesn’t spit.

21. He likes to try new restaurants, and has an adventurous palate.

22. His wine never comes from a box.

23. He never drinks light beer, or typical domestic beer for that matter.

24. He can pronounce “escape” without an x.

25. He doesn’t own a cat, or even worse, multiple cats.

I think that’s enough for now. I am sure more will come to me, but this list is a good one to get started with. Seems possible, right?

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3 Responses to “The Act of Not Settling”

  1. Liz February 27, 2008 at 9:25 am #

    I’m telling you, a woman will give you all these things.

  2. Darci Alexis February 27, 2008 at 9:31 am #

    You may be right Liz, I think maybe if I date a gay man for a while that might be OK too.

  3. mike March 2, 2008 at 3:03 am #

    wow- good thing liz didn’t have these rules or
    i’d be super screwed. my guess would be that the real reasons you fall in love with someone would have little to do with prerequisites but who knows

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