I may have found it.

16 Mar

One of the sites that I really like is Nerve.com, an online magazine that talks about all sorts of things pertaining to relationships and sex.  They have a new forum where you can anonymously post secrets about your dating life.  Anything.  People admit to cheating, to having insecurities about their sexual prowess or talk about silly schoolgirl crushes.  I came across a post that I could have written and suddenly things were very clear to me.  “I’m pretty sure I stuck around because I got turned on by how much you disappointed me.”  Wow.  If that doesn’t describe every relationship I have ever had, then I don’t know what does. (Sorry boys, but it’s the truth. There may have been one that this doesn’t pertain to, but the rest of you sucked.)

So, in light of that realization, I am not sure how to proceed.  From someone who only stays when people disappoint me, is there any hope that I can turn things around?  Can I find the person that doesn’t disappoint? Do I want to? Will he  be everything I hoped for or will I find some reason to screw things up?  One can only speculate, given my current situation, but it sure is a great speculation.  Maybe I will get rid of the list in the previous post and just settle for the white hat wearing, jock boy lurkers that seem to surround me, given my taste for disappointment.

We know that in reality I am not going to give up the list just yet, but I thought you all should have a little bit of insight into the mediocrity that is my life.  Poor me.

On a happier note, I made the best beans tonight.  Liz would tell me to food-pimp them, but since I don’t have a digital camera that works, you will have to imagine these.  Cranberry beans and kombu, with roasted garlic, roasted eggplant, caramelized onions, parsley, tossed with lemon, olive oil and salt.  Yum. I love cranberry beans.  You can find them in any Italian grocery store.  There are tons of things you can do with them, sometimes they are called borlotti also. Next time I will make them earlier in the night though, since I finished with everything around midnight and had to control myself so I wouldn’t have crazy, I ate too much before bed dreams.


One Response to “I may have found it.”

  1. Liz March 22, 2008 at 6:29 pm #

    Holy Moly, those sound good! Eggplant and lemon and parsley and roasted garlic ….could you put any more of my favorite things in these beans? Oh, yeah, and caramelized onions too.

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