Dating Experiment #4

28 Nov

So, I never actually went out on a date with this hopeful, but I thought I would say a few words about the introduction email.  There are so many intricacies to making the first connection. My style is usually to send a few lines, just to see if the person is interested in learning more. No sense writing a memoir if the guy doesn’t like the looks of me. The same goes for you, guys.  I get emails all the time that divulge way too much information, or even worse, nothing at all except a really rude question.

Please. It’s not going to happen, ever. Just stop asking. (I wonder what the response rate is for that type of question anyway? It can’t actually work. Same goes for the rude photos. Who actually thinks that will work?)

That said, please don’t send the following:

“Hi there,

I really think this “emailing to introduce yourself” to someone you’ve never met is challenging. Who really does that? And I understand your feeling in your opening line…me too. But here we are.

I’m sure your getting all kinds of crazy emails from “interesting” guys, I assure you I’m not the typical guy on this site. I’m active in life, confident, successful, attractive, and really funny, so if you don’t like to laugh, we’re in trouble.

What’s your story? It sounds like you have traveled some…what are your three favorite places and why? I suspect you are not just another average person on this site. Tell me more about yourself. Are you more than just a pretty face in a picture?

Since we’re both on here to meet someone new, we should go grab a drink or coffee sometime.see what happens… worst case?…you meet a cool new friend.

Talk with you soon.”

First of all, don’t assume that you aren’t crazy. Everyone is, just in different ways. Second, don’t assume that the WORST that could happen is that I make a new friend. I have been around the block one too many times to know this is not the case. Cross-dressers who threaten you or drug addicts who cry on the first date are much worse. I don’t want an assignment in the first email either. I have lots of things to say-how about you let me say them?

And really, anyone who says they are confident, successful and attractive in the first email isn’t in real life. Besides, I saw this guys picture.  He had obviously lied about his age, stated as 36, and was really NOT attractive. To me, at least.  I’m sure there is someone for him, just like I keep saying there is someone for me.

Online dating is a norm now, as far as I can see.  I heard somewhere that 1 in 4 current marriages were the result of online dating. So, leave out the “this is crazy why are we here” because obviously if men were beating down my door, I wouldn’t be doing this. Neither would you, so leave it alone. It also beats picking up guys in bars. This way at least you get to weed out the crazies BEFORE you take them home.

Oh-I didn’t even touch on the grammar and punctuation needed for me to respond.  I think you probably figured that one out though. ANY misspellings and you are really never going to get a response. Spell check is included in every email/browser/dating service for FREE. Use it. Please.

I will tell you about the cross-dresser soon. I promise.

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2 Responses to “Dating Experiment #4”

  1. nicole. November 28, 2009 at 1:30 pm #

    How ironic, grammar Nazi, that you have an error in the title of your post.

    BOO YAH!

    See you at 3!

    • Darci Alexis November 28, 2009 at 1:36 pm #

      Ack! Guess I won’t be getting any dates from this post then!

      Thanks. I’m blushing.

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